Watching
by NikaDawson
Summary: A mother watches some moments in her son's life. JPSB implied.


**Author's Note: **The plot for this one-shot just suddenly popped into my head and I figured better type it out now before I lose it. It has slight slash implied, but nothing graphic. The end of this fic was actually inspired from a review on another one of my one-shots. Hope you enjoy, and please review.

"A mother understands what a child does not say." -Anonymous

**Watching:**

Drusilla Potter looked out the window and watched her son play in the dirt with the little muggle girl that lived next door. His hair's more of a mess than it's ever been, and there are clumps of dirt on his face and hands. He and Maggie, his friend from next door were chasing each other all around the yard, Maggie's Yorkshire Terrier dog barking and sprinting with them. Drusilla has to resist the urge to call James back into the house and scrub all the dirt off his small body. He's having fun, and this is the first time she's seen him interact with a kid his own age.

She and Tristan had tried for many years to have a child, and after five miscarriages, one stillbirth, and a baby girl that had only lived for a week they had pretty much given up any hope of ever having a child. But, five years before James had been born, a little sickly, but healthier than his ill fated older sister. In and out of clinics the first year of his life, Drusilla and Tristan had sheltered him and indulged him, and he had grown up very secluded from the outside world. Drusilla worried every time he was outside and away from her, every time he scraped his knee or fell off his broom.

Maggie was the first child that James got along with. His slightly spoilt attitude caused him to be distant from the other children, and the only humans he really ever saw were his parents. But Maggie was an only child to, and wild, and loved to play pranks like James did. More than once Drusilla had gotten a visit from the girl's parents complaining about the antics of their respective children.

Drusilla smiled as the children took turns tackling the yipping dog and rubbing his belly, the dog panting happily, then running off, yelling 'tag, you're it.' She shook her head, chuckling at the children's antics, before going back to the counter and kneading the bread she was baking. She preferred doing some things the muggle way, it relaxed her and gave her something to do. She had been talking with Tristan about sending James to a muggle primary school come fall, since Maggie would be going and it would be better for him to learn that even though muggles couldn't do magic, they were people to and just as accomplished as wizards.

"Calm down, " she yelled, as two dirt covered, giggling children and a muddy dog ran into the kitchen like a pack of wild wolves. James and Maggie stopped, looking innocently at Drusilla, trying to stop giggling futilely, but their lips quivered with the effort. James was bouncing around on the balls of his feet, and Maggie looked about ready to bend over and start rolling on the floor.

"Mummy, can me and Maggie have a cookie," he asked, pouting adorably. Maggie mimicked him, staring at Drusilla hopefully. The brunette woman sighed, the way they were teaming up on her wasn't fair. Her son had her wrapped around his pinky finger, but if she gave them cookies now it would spoil their dinner. She was a grown women, she should know how to resist cute, smudged little faces.

"James, honey, not right now. You guys have to eat dinner first," she told him. Her son looked like he wanted to sniffle a little, or maybe beg for the cookie, but glanced at Maggie, and seemed to decide not to whine in front of his friend. Maggie looked upset, but wasn't about to beg a mother that wasn't her own, so she just pouted a little.

"Ok," James said, his voice a little low in disappointment. A few seconds later he seemed to perk up, grabbing Maggie's hand and starting to drag her excitedly towards the stairs.

"I almost forgot, I got something to show you. It's really cool," he told her, hazel eyes wide in his face. Maggie started to grin, and quickly followed, repeatedly saying, 'what is it, what is it,' as they flew up the steps. Drusilla watched them go up the stairs.

* * *

"We'll always be best friends," James told Maggie, hugging her and resisting the urge to cry. He didn't care about cooties, or how the other boys made fun of him in school for having a girl that was a friend. He didn't like most of them anyway, and he and Maggie had a great time playing pranks on them. 

Drusilla resisted the urge to sigh as she remembered one incident when the Headmaster of the school had sent a letter, telling her that the two hellions had scared everyone in their class with a spooky story of a chopped off hand that would smother kids in their sleep. She didn't know which one of them had come up with that prank, or the numerous others that had cause her son to have more detentions than she had ever had her entire seven year term at Hogwarts.

Drusilla looked sadly at the two crying children. Three years had gone by since they had met, and the two eight year olds were about to be separated. Maggie's parents waiting by the rental truck, their stuffed packed and their home now empty for their daughter to finish her goodbye. Drusilla knew that right now James felt like his whole world was ending, but he'd be better soon.

"You promise," Maggie said tearfully, her mouth wobbling and her arms tight around the small brunette boy.

"I pinky promise," James said, holding his pinky out. Maggie giggled, her own little pinky wrapping around his as the two promised each other they were going to keep in touch. Drusilla couldn't help but feel that this was going to be the last time the two children were together. She knew that Maggie's parents felt James was a bad influence on their daughter, and probably wouldn't worry if the kids friendship dwindled to nothing.

The two children hugged one last time, and Maggie placed a small kiss on James' cheek. Drusilla wondered if he was going to wipe it off, but he just stood there, sadly watching his best friend walk out of his life. Maggie waved from the window as the car pulled out of the drive, and Tristan had to keep a hand on James' arm to prevent him from running behind the car.

When the car was out of sight, her son seemed to break down, small shoulders shuddering with the force of his sobs. Tristan picked him up and held him to his chest, rubbing soothing circles over his back, whispering comforting words in his ear. It didn't seem to be helping any, because James muttered incoherently into his father's shirt, tears leaving his eyes. Tristan handed James to Drusilla, and she coddled him as only a mother can, just holding him. Now was not the time to tell him that everything would be okay and would work out, right now her son just needed to be held.

* * *

Drusilla hadn't been to platform nine and three quarters in many years, but the train station that housed the Hogwarts Express hadn't changed a bit. Students dressed in muggle clothes, and parents shuffling their children towards the train, with last minute trunk checks and tearful goodbyes were still the same. 

James was looking around the platform warily, but excited. He had been waiting to go to Hogwarts for years, and had been overjoyed when the owl with his acceptance letter had arrived. There had been no worry from either of his parents that he might be a Squib, accidental magic had happened around him all the time.

Her son had changed a bit since Maggie had moved. He hadn't forgotten her name, and she knew that he still considered the muggle girl the only best friend he'd ever had, but he didn't talk about her much. Drusilla had been right in thinking that Maggie's parents would let the friendship dwindle. Letters and calls had happened a bit for the first few months, but had died to a stop soon after the move.

James didn't hang out with one person exclusively now. He had started to hang around with some of the muggle boys, the same one's who had previously teased him for having a girl as a friend. He wasn't close to them, but they were someone his own age to play with, and they could play football, the only muggle sport James liked. He wasn't very good at that, not having the same grace on his feet that he did on a broom, but Drusilla encouraged him anyway.

He was more outgoing now, but still pranked people mercilessly. Drusilla was sure the Headmaster on the primary school was only happy to be rid of him, and she wondered how Hogwarts teachers were going to fare with her son around.

"Is Dad coming," James asked his mother, looking around the platform as if expecting his father to suddenly come popping up. Tristan, unfortunately, needed to work and couldn't be there to see his son off to his first year of Hogwarts. James was disappointed, he idolized his father and wanted to be just like him.

"No Jamie, I don't think he's going to be able to make it," Drusilla said, apologetically. Damn ministry gits couldn't handle anything on their own and had to call her husband away to pull their fat out of the fire on an important day of his son's life. She toyed with the idea of sending them a howler to give them a piece of her mind.

"Oh. Well, he'll be proud when I get in Gryffindor right," James said, wanting his mother to reassure him. Drusilla laughed, her son was very sure Gryffindor was going to be where he ended up. He believed it was the best house and no other beat it. She ruffled his messy hair, causing him to scowl.

"Of course he will be dear. And I'm sure you'll make lots of friends, but don't try to sneak a broom into the school James, because if I hear you did that you'll not see another one for a long time," she said, knowing it would be just like her son to break the rules before he even got to Hogwarts.

"Mom," he complained, trying to flatten his perpetually messy hair in an attempt to make it a little neater, "I promise I won't. And I'll try not to get detention the first day either. Don't need another teacher like Simmons on my tail my whole time there."

Drusilla rolled her eyes when James mention Robert Simmons, a teacher who had taken a deep disliking to her son and took every opportunity to get him into trouble. The frequent letters over whatever petty misdeed James had done was very annoying, and she hoped, probably not wisely, that she wouldn't have to put up with that again.

"Good boy," she told him. The whistle from the train sounded, singling to the last straggling students it was time to get on the train. Drusilla shuddered, her baby boy was leaving her and she wouldn't see him till Christmas. How was she going to make sure he was alright so far away?

James wrapped his arms around her middle, and she hugged him tightly, not really wanting to let go. She bent down to look him straight in the eye, smoothing some of his fly away hair from his face.

"Now, try not to get into to much trouble, and listen to your headmaster. Be sure to eat right, and don't do anything stupid," she lectured, her throat feeling lumpy, "And remember that me and your father love you."

"Love you to mum," he replied, kissing her cheek, then pulling away. He started to run towards the train so that it wouldn't leave without him, stopping for a second to look back at his mother. Drusilla waved, and watched her baby leave her for the first time in his life.

* * *

Sirius Black was perhaps the oddest, yet most interesting friend her son had ever had. It was clear to Drusilla that Sirius and James were best friends, and her son had a bond with the outcast of the Black family that he had never had with even Maggie. In the week that he had been living with them Drusilla had not seen either boy without one another. Ever since they had met, there hadn't been one day when James was home that Sirius wasn't mentioned, or one letter that his name didn't come up. Even his two other friends, Remus and Peter, were not mentioned as frequently or with the same emotion the Black boy was mentioned with. 

If Drusilla didn't know any better, she might have thought the two boys in love with each other. They certainly acted like they were. The first night Sirius had stayed with them, James had crawled into his guest bed and held him till the morning, and Sirius always made sure he knew where James was. The boy knew things about her son even Drusilla didn't know. She was confronted with the fact that her son was growing up, and didn't need her like he use to when she listened to him and Sirius talk.

She felt sorry for her son's best friend, the poor boy hadn't had an easy life. It wasn't very hard to love the boy, he was endearing and likable, and he made her son happier than he had ever been. Certainly Walburga and Orion Black hadn't been a picnic to grow up with. She had met them only a few times, and had to resist the urge to throw a serious hex at the old hag of a woman. She pitied Tristan's brother, who was married to a cousin or something, Dorea, of that horrible woman.

She walked past her son's bedroom, hearing voices coming from the partially closed bedroom. She knew it would be wrong to peek and listen in, but as a mother it seemed ingrained that she snoop into her son's life. Hiding so that she could see into the room, but they couldn't see her, she watched them.

They were both on the bed, legs tangled up and talking. Sirius had his arm around her son's shoulders in a very familiar way, letting Drusilla know that the position they were in wasn't an unfamiliar one, and James' head seemed to be using Sirius as a pillow.

"…Moony…hope he's alright…wish we could be there," her son was saying, but she couldn't hear all the words as the boys were whispering, their voices low.

"…yeah…we'll see him soon…miss them," was all she could hear Sirius say. She wondered what they were talking about, and who Moony was. Another one of their friends? The two had odd nicknames for each other, they tended to call each other Prongs and Padfoot all the time. She asked once where they had come up with the names, but the two boys had just shrugged and gone back to their conversation. She could swear it was like sometimes those two didn't even notice another person in the room.

Sirius' head flopped down, forehead touching her son's and Drusilla's breath caught in her throat. Her son wasn't startled, and didn't seem to react to the touching. She watched the two for a few more minutes, but nothing more seemed to be happening. They were just sitting there silently together, not even talking anymore. She finally walked away from the door, more confused about the nature of James and Sirius' friendship then she had ever been. Her son liked a girl name L something, didn't he?

* * *

They were drunk. She wanted to shake her head and scream at her son and almost son's stupidity. They were standing in the yard drunk, a bottle of whisky in their hands. Whose bright idea had that been? James was lucky his father was at work and wasn't here to see this. She hoped she'd get them sobered up before he got home. 

"…I always thought I'd die if she'd left me, but I'm still here, so it must be you," her son was saying to a smiling Sirius, gesturing with his hands. What was he talking about?

"I'll never leave you Jamie. And she was stupid to," Sirius told him. Drusilla decided to listen a little bit before going over there. Déjà vu hit her, and she remembered a similar incident, but she didn't focus on it.

"I'd jump in front of a curse for you," she heard Sirius tell him. Drusilla tried not to be alarmed at the statement, not for the first time wondering just what went on between those two boys.

"Sirius, I love you. You're the best friend I've ever had," James said, reaching out to hug the other brunette. Sirius arm's wrapped around him tightly, face pressed into James' wild hair.

"Love you to James," he said. Drusilla watched the boys, slightly stunned. The two looked more beautiful together than anything the aging woman had ever seen, and the fact that the two boys hugging were her son and another she cared about should have alarmed her more, but it didn't. She wondered why it didn't.

She walked over, hating to interrupt the moment, but knowing it needed to be done anyway. Clearing her throat, she waited patiently for the two boys to realize she was there. They broke apart, and she couldn't help but notice the slightly scared and guilty look Sirius shot her.

Her voice firm she said, "Both of you get in the house, now. You're lucky Tristan wasn't here. I won't tell him about this, but you two better damn well make sure this never happens again." The two boys nodded contritely, and headed into the house, Drusilla following behind.

* * *

Lily had made a beautiful bride. She was a nice girl, and she clearly loved Drusilla's son, but, something about this wedding had bothered her. Tristan was happy with the match that James had made, boasting to all his co-workers about his son's lovely girl. But Drusilla couldn't help but notice, that James wasn't happy. 

Oh, he loved the girl, there was no doubting that. They made a cute couple, and they were good together. But they didn't have the spark, the heat, the togetherness as the two boys in the yard that day had just hugging. When James had brought home Lily, and had introduced her as his girlfriend, Drusilla had thought maybe she had been reading to much into the boy's friendship. That is, until she saw Sirius. Not many people would be able to tell, but the boy was clearly unhappy. Maybe it was just because his friend was getting married, or maybe it was because of something else. Whatever it was, Drusilla noticed none of his inner turmoil had been shown today.

He acted happy, joked with James, and playfully pretended to have lost the rings. He pretended to feel everything a best man should feel. Nobody but Drusilla noticed that Sirius wanted to be as far away from this room as he could possibly be. Well, except for James. Her son had noticed, and it seemed cared more about being with Sirius than his new bride. Lily didn't mention anything about it, the glow of a new bride suiting her.

She watched her son and his best man talking, their heads close together, almost as if they were going to kiss. James said something, and a genuine smile crossed Sirius' face, eyes lighting up. He tossed his head back and let out a bark like laugh, that Drusilla had come to adore.

The party died down a few minutes later as Sirius stood up and clinked his glass of champagne. All eyes turned towards him.

"Well, time for the traditional best man speech. I'll be honest with you, I didn't write anything down or prepare anything. So, this is just going to come from the top of my head. I've known James for eight years now, and there's not a second that he hasn't been my best friend. And I wouldn't want to change that. He'll always be my best friend. But Lily, you're going to have to take care of him now, because, I know he's not going to come to me for everything now. So, I want you to know that I'm not going to do anything that will take away your time with him. Because I know, I'm not going to be his best friend anymore, you are. So, take good care of him," he said, his voice smooth and steady.

If Drusilla hadn't been able to read people as well as she could, she would never have noticed the sadness in his eyes, or the long breath he took after he finished. Everybody applauded as he sat back down, and Lily smiled gratefully at him. Everyone but James, her son was looking at him sadly.

* * *

Lily had been here with her for years. She told Drusilla about her grandson Harry, and what had happened to her and her son. They sometimes watched him when they could, Tristan to. But James wasn't with them. He had stayed back, to wait. 

It seemed like death made everyone more excepting of things they had denied in life. Social norms and proper behavior didn't matter anymore. And people could admit to themselves, and to others, what they never wanted to know before.

Lily had done that. She had waited for a while, thinking that her husband might have changed his mind to wait, but when he didn't move on, she accepted what Drusilla knew. That James would never love her as much as he loved Sirius. That James would always wait for him, no matter how long, and that he would go anywhere with him. It had been fourteen earth years and still James hadn't come to see them. He stayed at the phantom train station. In life, Drusilla knew that Lily would have raged and swore at this sort of behavior from James, but death changed everyone.

Lily was off somewhere, no doubt watching her son, and Tristan was talking to some old school friends of his he had reconnected with. Drusilla stood there waiting. She could feel the time was close.

It had been seventeen years since she had seen her son, and she wanted the first sight she saw of him to be a happy one. She smiled, as from seemingly out of no where two shapes started to appear. The outline of her son and his best friend became more solid, both of them laughing, eyes shining brightly. Sirius' arm was around James' shoulder, and James was bouncing on the balls of his feet wildly, like he hadn't done since he was a kid. They didn't even notice her standing there, the way it had always been. Drusilla chuckled, and decided to leave them alone for a while, she had seen what she needed to.


End file.
